My Microwave Is Dumb, Part Two

It has already been established beyond a shadow of a doubt that my microwave is dumb. But here is futher proof. The timer on my microwave is retarded. YOu would think it would be pretty hard to screw up a timer and you'd be right. All you really have to do is count down until the time runs out and beep a couple of times. Pretty standard stuff right? Well my microwave handles that just fine. It's when you throw the whole monkey wrench that is opening the door into the mix that it gets confused and forgets what it was doing. The assumption a microwave should make is, unless a button is pressed, and it has to be the 'right' button - not that stupid fan or light button, the timer keeps ticking down. But not my microwave. If you open the door while it is counting down the timer pauses. It's as if it says, "Wait one second there Champ. I've been counting down for a couple minutes now and everything has been going smoothly but now you've opened the door and I just don't know what to think. I'm going to have to stop what I was doing and wait till this whole door opened thing gets sorted out." Ok, whatever (idiot). Fine, stop counting down. But when I go to close the door (remember, i haven't pressed any buttons) I expect that the timer would pick up where it left off. Apparently that is way to much to ask. When the door is closed my microwave says, "YOu really shouldn't have interrupted me counting down by opening the door. Now I'm really confused. First you wanted me to count down, then you opened the door - for no reason(!) - and closed it again and now I just don't knw what to think. I'm just going to sit here with 2:35 left on the timer and wait for you to tell me what you want. Ok? That work for you? Can you try to keep focused next time and just worry about one task at a time?" Moron.
Breakfast:
4 sausages
gala apple

Snack:
baby carrots

Lunch:
2 hamburger patties
red pepper

Snack:
orange
Ultimate Crunch
almonds

Dinner:
pulled beef
big spinach salad

Snack:
dry ribs

Drink:
water, 2 beer

Symptoms: