Microwaves can be dumb you know

My new microwave likes to play dumb. Normally, when you press the number pad of a microwave it builds the time and then when you have entered the correct length of time you hit 'start' and it starts doing its microwave thing. But mine thinks a little differently. When you hit the number pad it does nothing. Just sits there and stares at you as if to say "What? Can you be more specific?". See, you have to tell it what you want it to do first. You have to hit the 'Cook' button first. Then it says, "Ohhhhh, you want to cook something. Why didn't you just say so. I thought maybe you were going to do some calculations. You know I don't do that right? I'm a microwave. All I do is cook stuff. So, now go ahead and enter the time". Idiot.

Breakfast:
4 slices of bacon
apple

Snack:
handful of carrots and sugar snap peas

Lunch:
ribeye steak
yellow pepper

Snack:
handful of almonds

Dinner:
2 hamburger patties with cheese and bacon (couldn't resist)
green beans

Drink:
Water

Symptoms:
Feeling good today, just the slightest bit of stiffness in the back.